jogden's Information:
Relationship Status: Widowed
Website: nomoreanthems.tumblr.com/
Favorite Book: Blood Meridian
Favorite Movie: Andrei Rublev
Things you <3: Hey, you guys, I have a tumblr! Ain't I hipster cool!
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Santorum Is Getting Hard On McCain
Rick Santorum just can't stop poking his way into the news. Ever since he made it clear that he wants to be president, he's been butting into embarrassing positions and situations. With his cat-fights with Romney and Gingrich, Santorum is proving that he's eager to thrust himself in the middle of a sticky situation. And just when it seemed that Santorum already had both his hands full, he's gone off and pricked McCain. When it comes to the cockfight known as the Republican ...
Grand Theft Audio: The Art of Game Music Rip-Offs
Video game music has com a long ways from the days of the boops and beeps of the Atari 2600 and its venerable microprocessing brethren. A few clever programmers were able to wring the most they could with melodies out of the machines, but plenty of games relegated their audio to just mere sound effects. In those days, dinosaurs still roamed the earth and many a pasty, pimple-faced caveman would listen to the crickets in two-part harmony with the sounds of centipedes being blasted away. But ...
Editing your latest post now. It is the nerdiest, most fascinating and in-depth thing I've read in a while. Bravo.
Thank you so much!
if this or that is u'r site can u delete the page of inga balanchine pls? :'( please....just please with me heart...
wut.
7 Things Obama Must Do to Prove He is a Real American
It's no secret around here that I subscribe to a belief about the current "president" that the Lamestream Media calls "bugfuck crazy." What do I believe, you may ask? Unlike my birther brethren, I subscribe to the theory that one Barack Hussein Mohammad Malcolm X Soetoro Obama II was never actually born. The liberal media likes to call us "unbirthers." But now, Mr. Obama has finally released his birth certificate (upon the urging of American Hero Donald Trump...
6 Things You Can Do With Your Miley Cyrus Blow-Up Doll (Other Than the Obvious)
Like all teenage pop stars, Miley Cyrus must turn 18, and like all pop stars of the pretty female persuasion, a sex doll of them must be made. It's Pop Culture's Iron Law of Perversion. So it should come as no surprise to none that the Finally Miley blow-up doll hit the shelves of sex shops across the nation. Well, it did come as a surprise to one person: Miley Cyrus.
Are you in Korea?
I will be soon. I haven't been able to write due to a class I'm taking, trying to get ready for Korea, and dealing with this Japan situation (I have a lot of friends who live there)
Jogden in Korea: What do you want to see?
So, you all know me as a writer on this site. What many of you don't know is before that, I was an ESL teacher in Japan and South Korea. My old boss in South Korea contacted me recently and asked me if I wanted to come back So I said yes. This doesn't mean I'm done writing though. But, do you want to see articles on Korea (making me your Correspondent in Korea), or should I stay the ...
He is looking hot. I'm with ya on that one!
It could be two hours of him eating porridge. I'd watch it.
Do you have more of a man-crush on Sheen or Bieber?
Robert Downey Jr.
Should the Drug 'Charlie Sheen' Be Legalized?
Recently, Charlie Sheen appeared on the program 20/20, allowing all of America an intimate look into the slowest and most entertaining trainwreck in history. Nestled in the various gnarly gnarlyisms that Charlie spouted like a fountain last night was this declaration of what kind of drugs Charlie is actually on:
Confessions of a Vatican Assassin Warlock: 7 Little-Known Facts About Charlie Sheen by Charlie Sheen, WINNER
Hey all my gnarly gnarlingtons here at This or That, Charlie Sheen here, and I'm taking a break from tweeting about how much I'm winning and tearing up the interview circuit with my atomic truth bombs to write a special article for you. Yes, that's right, you all know my deep, dark secret. I'm actually a devoted follower of This or That, but I never said anything before because I knew it would BLOW your feeble minds. Boom. Winning.
Jesse Ogden, making fan boys cry all over the world.
I distill fanboy tears in order to make my vodka. It gives it a much more sea-salt taste and robust flavor
I feel like the people behind this video got inspiration from your post. http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5167cfb28a/bieber-2051
I am very inspiring.
7 Mascots That Were Rejected for the 2014 Winter Games
In three years, countries from all around the world will be skiing and skating in Sochi, Russia. The people of Russia have been spending the last 3 1/2 years getting their city ready for the world's favorite event to bitch and complain about. Right now, the people are voting on which of these 11 ideas will become the mascot for the 2014 WInter Olympics. Even Santa Claus is one of the choices.
Man Stabbed to Death by Cock
There's murder afoot, or perhaps it was justifiable homicide. A man attending an illegal cockfight in Tulare County, California died after receiving stab wounds inflicted on him by a cock, also known as a rooster. Stab, you ask? How does a cock stab a person? Don't they just peck?
5 Ways You're More of a Loser Than You Realize
Our brains can do a lot of nifty things. The state of our minds can make us sick or help us get better. The brain can release and regulate chemicals that make us capable of feats of strength or get us high off of exercise. It can also do awesome things like make memories (unless you drink those away with sweet, sweet booze*). But did you know that your mind is also subtly tricking you? Little do you realize, your brain is telling you all kinds of lies about yourself. Here's five ways that your brain is lying to you about what a special and unique person you are.
50% of Boyfriends Think Girl-on-Girl Cheating is Totally Hot
Take your average heterosexual male. I'm sure you all know one. You may even possibly live with one. At the dinner table, ask them their opinions about gay sex. Chances are, you'll learn that 'two dudes' is completely gross but 'two girls' is totally hot. Browsing their no-doubt extensive porn collection will back this opinion up. But now we have a study that has confirmed what everyone already knew: 50% of dudes are cool with cheating if their girlfriends do it with another girl.
So what's it gonna be, Joggie McJoggerson? Team-up of the century? Are we gonna kick this pig?
So you were Mr. Anonymous? I'm always up for a team-up. Just email me at jessedogden@yahoo.com with what you've got.
The Five Futures of Justin Bieber
It's Bieber Fever here at This or That! Bieberpalooza! In the last month, there has been a bumper crop of Bieber ToTs. Tweens and teens from all over have been flocking here, letting their voices be heard. Not a day goes by that any of us does not think about Justin Bieber. I'm thinking about him right now. I'm humming one of his songs. He is hotter than hot and cooler than cool. And he has a film coming out! In 3-D! Can you imagine swoop bangs swooping in 3-D? I can't.
I just saw the unbirther answer, I'm dying and lmao. That's not a question I know.
RELEASE THE FILES BARACK. SHOW US THAT YOU EXIST.
I just saw the unbirther answer, I'm dying and lmao. That's not a question I know.
Look, I just don't see what the big deal is. Mr. Obama could put all these nagging suspicions to rest if he would just release some proof that he actually exists.
So you're a ToT freelancer...Are you also a Redditor?
Nope.
Ahhh, David Icke. Making Alex Jones look like a reasonable man since 1994. I felt dirty just reading that.
With Alex, even a stopped clock is right twice a day. With David Icke, someone took the hour hand and the minute hand off the broken clock.
Hey, Jesse. I'm a new recruit to the feature writing team. I have a couple B.S. comedy articles coming out, and then I'll get (kind of) serious. What say we join forces sometime on the most kick*$& ToT story of all, OF ALL TIME?
I'm intrigued Mr. Anonymouse. Do we exchange secret documents on a park bench somewhere?
I like your tie. Do you think Mr Truther is a natural born citizen or do you think he is an illegal alien, like, from Mars?
As the philosopher Ke$ha once said, “Did anyone ever stop and think maybe we are the aliens?" I won't presume to ponder about Mr Truther's parentage or dimension of origin. He has a point though. Obama is not to be trusted. Most shapeshifting space lizards are not trustworthy: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1526375/barack_obama_shape_shifting_reptilian.html?cat=9
So jogden, do you really believe that Barry Soetaro (Barak Obama) is really Kenyan? Or do you think that he is a natural-born citizen?
I'm not even sure Barack Obama was even born. I'm an Unbirther.
Sexier accent?
Some accents are irresistable
Are you a new This or That writer? See, I take a vacation and am totally out of the loop. Congrats!
Yeah, I am. As you can see, my deception skills are nothing if not amazing. I managed to buffalo the staff that I'm a funny writer.
Smugglers Launch Drugs With Medieval Catapult, Turn Drug War Into a Looney Tunes Cartoon
Anyone who has lived with a group of potheads knows that when it comes to drugs, you need a little ingenuity and some outside-the-box thinking, especially when getting around that pesky little thing known as "the law." From the Underground Railroad to old jets, smugglers have been finding creative ways to get drugs across the border and make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. Now it seems that they've decided to "get medieval" by constructing a catapult to launch the drugs -- forty five pounds of it -- over the border.
Which Military is More Fabulous?
Note: All of these men can still kick the crap out of me.
Yo your a lil cunt arnet ya ;)
My half-gay British friend always said I was a cheeky monkey and a slag. Probably a wee cunt as well.
who iz pretty cool guy
ehy kills aleins and doesnt afraid of anything LOL no and then john was a zombie LOL
Who is hurting America more?
Please stop hurting America. Then again, there's also Justin Bieber, who is clearly Canada's secret weapon to destroy us by taking over the minds of our teens and children...
Step 1: Beat Your Kids. Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit!
Recently, Amy Chua wrote a very controversial article in the Wall Street Journal detailing how she has pushed her two daughters to achieve. If you thought your parents were strict, well you might think twice about that after reading Amy Chua's advertisement for her new book. "Oh no, not this," I said, rolling my eyes. "Everyone is special in their special own way," I ...
Why do you like kesha so much
She's amazing, don't you know? I love all of my musicians to have worse hygiene than hobos. Also, her music is a brilliant satire of modern culture, composed by someone with a Dickensian wit and the soul of a poet.
Indecision 2048
THE FOLLOWING IS A TOTALLY LEGIT AP NEWS REPORT FROM THE FUTURE. A MAN IN A SILVER SUIT WITH A GAVE IT TO ME. NEW WASHINGTON D.C. - The Divided States of America is on its way to a historic election as Miley Cyrus and Barack Hussein Obama II cinch the nomination for the Fascist Party while Kanye West and Bristol Palin captured 102% of the delegate vote for the Communist Party. As all Loyal ...
2011: The Apocalypse Tailgate Party
2011 has gotten off to a bumpin' start with nothing but terrible news. From the awful weather to the shift in the magnetic poles to thousands of animals pining for the fjords. The first incident of sudden bird deaths was weird, the second was confusing, but now with every other day giving us these strange mass die-offs, it's just downright spooky. Scientists are trying to calm everyone ...
Best British sci-fi comedy?
Red Dwarf - Dave Lister: "I'll tell you one thing. I've been to a parallel universe, I've seen time running backwards, I've played pool with planets and I've given birth to twins, but I never thought in my entire life I'd taste an edible Pot Noodle." Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Trillian: "Five to one against and falling..." she said, "...
When you're not discussing awesome music, how do you like to spend your free time?
Well, every morning I wake up and I debate about eating something. Then, I usually eat something. After I eat something, I check This or That for the next 10 hours, while listening to amazing music. Then after that, I have a minor panic attack over the fact I still haven't found a job yet. Then I This or That again, play some more music, and then I go to bed. While listening to music.
Who's got soul?
Otis Redding - Sittin' On The Dock of the Bay Nina Simone - I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to be Free
Most overplayed song?
Hallelujah - John Cale (cover of Leonard Cohen song) Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin "I was reading a review of a movie called Watchmen that uses it, and the reviewer said, 'Can we please have a moratorium on 'Hallelujah' in movies and television shows?' and I kind of feel the same way' ~ Leonard Cohen "I'd break out in hives if I had to sing ("Stairway to Heaven") in ...
Best female singer?
Billie Holiday - I'm A Fool to Want You Edith Piaf - Non Je ne Regrette Rien
What causes human stupidity?
Are people just naturally dumb or do they simply choose not to educate themselves
Most powerful woman?
Oprah declared our current president The One, and helped him in his nomination. She is also one of the richest and influential women in the world. Merkel leads the European Union's most populous country and the world's fourth largest economy.
Dann King
I fucking hate you asshole.
I hate me too.
Who Will Rule 'This Or That'?
Lately it seems like the Justin Bieber/Miley Cyrus machine (teenagers and kids) have decided that ToT (our lawn) is a fun venue to hang out in. Well now, WELCOME YOUNG PEOPLE. But when it gets down to it, who REALLY rules This or That?
Auto-Tune?
Sounds like every song nowadays uses auto-tune.
Do you prefer Coke or Pepsi?
Faygo (I AIN'T NO JUGGALO)
Do you prefer cats or dogs?
Pugs. They're like a cross between dogs and cats and pigs.
Do you prefer to shop online or in the store?
Online. Sales people make me super uncomfortable.
Would you prefer to go blind or deaf?
Blind. I never want to live without music or noise.
Would you rather Call or Text?
Text. I am a writer and I am awful with phones. Seriously, awful.
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