ev.morris28's Information:
Twitter: @epmorris
Website: www.kentuckycubs.com
Favorite Book: I can barely read
Favorite Movie: Turner & Hooch
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A Guide to Being Unemployed
The economic collapse back in 2008 left many people, including me, dealing with lay-offs, high unemployment, and less jobs to go after, and even though the landscape is improving it hasn't fully recovered. People are still out of work and dealing with the pressures and stresses that come along with it. So, I thought I could help. As an expert at all things, and having dealt with being unemployed for a decent part of the last year, I've put together a guide to help many of you through...
Kimberly Stewart Expecting Dr. Gonzo's Baby...Maybe.
In a bit of shocking news that I absolutely shouldn't care anything about, Kimberly Stewart is pregnant and the father is apparently Benicio Del Toro. According to Del Toro's rep, "Benicio is the father and is very supportive. Although they are not a couple, they are looking forward to the arrival of the baby." Crazy, right? Well, this whole thing seems a little fishy to me so I've done some investigating. I'm here to tell you that Benicio Del Toro is NOT the father ...
10 People I Want to Fight Immediately
Not that long ago I wrote a piece for This or That titled " 10 People I Never Want To Fight," which, as you can probably imagine, was a list of people that I am afraid of. Fearing that you might get the wrong impression of me and my willingness to choose fight over flight, I wanted to return with a new list of individuals or groups that I would like to inflict pain on. I should probably start by saying for legal purposes that This or That does not condone violence in any way, and the views and opinions expressed by me are not shared with anyone. Now let's get to some smack talkin'!
Cap'n Crunch is Lost at Sea
After 48 years at sea, and as the mascot for one of the most popular cereal franchises, Cap'n Horatio Magellan Crunch woke up to red skies the other morning as news of attacks from "health pirates" rang out across the nation. Apparently, the Cap'n has been riding from port to port on a sugar wave that many feel is no longer acceptable for children. According to an article from Life Inc., the cereal is no longer being actively marketed by Quaker and its parent company PepsiCo due to its high sugar content.
Are you winning?
Duh! Winning pretty hard right now. I'm a warlock and defeat is never an option.
has facebook reached its peak?
no.
Republicans Look to Rock the Voting Rights
Newly empowered Republican lawmakers have set out on a quest to reform a few of the policies with regards to voting rights across the country, which could make voting difficult for many Americans in 2012. According to an article by Peter Wallsten for The Washington Post, lawmakers in 32 states are pushing legislation that would require voters to show a state ID or proof of citizenship.
Apple Unleashes Subscriptions on the World
Way back on February 15th, Apple announced that they would be launching a new subscription service that is available to all publishers of content-based apps through the famous App Store. For anyone wondering what falls into that category, they are referring to any magazines, newspapers, video providers such as Netflix or Hulu, and music applications. The program is an attempt to streamline the ability of customers to make "in-app purchases" and add yet another feature to the already robust App Store.
McDonald's Comes to Realization That Clowns Are Super Creepy
Some of you might have noticed seeing less and less of famous ginger Ronald McDonald these days, and there is actually a very good reason for that. Clowns are terrifying! Apparently McDonald's fancies itself as more of an upscale chain these days and is targeting an older clientele. Gone are the old days of making America obese on Happy Meals and Big Macs now that salads and mochas have been added to the menu. (I'm pretty sure the fat stuff is also still on the menu if you want it though.)
When it comes to wrestling, you have no idea what your talking about. WWE is fake, its about entertainment and always has been. If you have nothing nice to say about it, don't post anything at all, cause you piss the real fans off. It may be fake, but its still a hell of alot better and makes more money then any MMA bullshit. That is a sport of idiots punching one another in the head till one of them falls over, or grapple, whatever, its stupid. Doesn't take alot of intelligence, they don't have to memorize lines, nor do they interact with there fans as much as WWE, so stick it up your ass!
sounds like you didn't like the post.
I don't know...I think there's still a lot of humor in quotes like "Imagine what I would have done with my fire-breathing fists."
haha see I haven't been keeping up the last few days! I did see where, when asked about his addiction he said he was addicted to winning! Maybe you should write something up! I don't really want to corner the market on Sheen posts.
So now that Two and a Half Men has been axed are you going to expand your portfolio of Charlie Sheen-related work?
Only if the people demand it. He's quickly moving away from being a funny story to being sad.
Miracle Whip Knows You Hate Them
Thinking outside the box is usually what produces the best results, and being creative and innovative always sets you apart from the competition. I can't say I've ever seen a company openly admit that you probably don't like them, and then reassure you that it's alright and that their corporate feelings aren't hurt. That is, until Miracle Whip decided to do exactly that in a new marketing campaign this week.
The Curious Case of Charlie Sheen
Recently I wrote a post for This or That titled Social Security is Disappearing faster than Charlie Sheen's Liver, which was a clever way to get you wonderful folks to read about social security, and actually had nothing to do with Charlie Sheen. It does insinuate that he is an epic alcoholic, but other than that I haven't written about Charlie Sheen. Until now.
10 People I Never Want to Fight
I like to think of myself as a pretty tough guy. Someone that knows how to handle himself when push comes to shove comes to kick in the face. I've seen more than my share of the classic Steven Seagal movies, so there is really no reason to doubt my skills in the art of hand-to-hand combat. However, there is a short list of people that I never ever want to throw down with under any circumstances. The following are dangerous individuals that should be avoided or befriended at all cost.
The Creepy Craigslist Congressman
I'm 6'2" tall, ruggedly handsome, charming, intelligent, funny, and make a great deal of money. Now all of that is 100% true, but the creepy great thing about the internet is that it could be a complete lie and you would never know. Such is the beauty of the Craigslist personal ads and the freaks individuals trolling that particular singles market on a daily basis. Aside from the occasional murder, this sketchy, anonymous black hole of desperation is usually not very newsworthy. However, when a sitting U.S. Congressman gets caught attempting to pick up chicks via the "Women for Men" section of the site, it becomes a pretty big deal.
The Top 5 Wrestling Moves of All Time
As a kid, growing up I thought wrestling was actually a big deal, and I honestly have no good explanation for why. You have to admit that the world of wrestling is full of entertaining characters, and as a youngster I of course thought everything was completely real. I believed in my heart that Hulk Hogan got all his power from the crowd and that he felt no pain when he did the "Let me hear you" ear thing.
College Recruiting: Sex, Lies, Money & The NCAA
National signing day for the college football class of 2011 was last Wednesday, which means a new crop of young, talented men just made the difficult, sometimes life-altering decision of where to play college football at. Numerous media outlets, including ESPN covered the decisions of these athletes and shined a light on the strange practice of selling colleges to teenagers. I've always thought that covering the announcements of where 18 year old kids plan to attend college was a little ridiculous, but the more I think about it, the more I realized how naïve I was being. Recruiting IS college athletics, and good or bad, the most complex process in amateur sports is sometimes more entertaining than the games themselves.
are you going to change your handle to ev.morris29 when you have your birthday? Or have you decided to stay 28 forever? (I am, but the math is starting to get fuzzy)
Haha well the 28 is actually referring to my birthday. I just happen to be in the rare year when it is the same as my age. Although, now that you mention it, 28 has been pretty good so far. I might stick with it for a while!
Ah. Did you line them all up in a row and knock them out with a single backhand?
let's just say they are all probably crossing their legs as we speak!
I can't tell...are you wearing an eye patch or sunglasses in that picture?
Eye patch. Lost my left eye in a fight after a group of guys told me that crossing my legs like a woman wasn't manly.
What do you think is disappearing faster: Charlie Sheen's liver, or Charlie Sheen's career?
liver. no question. I'm pretty sure he's the highest paid actor on TV when he's not in rehab so the career isn't doing too bad. Althought I doubt too many people will hire him in the future!
Let He Who is Without Sin Throw the First Waffle
I don't know how I missed this one, because I'm usually all over these stories about crazy idiots sports fans, but the story of the waffle-throwing hockey fan slipped right under my radar. Apparently, on December 20th a frustrated Toronto Maple Leafs fan named Joe Robb decided to show his team what he thought about their performance this season by throwing waffles at them.
That was an interesting post on Social Security. Welcome to the pantheon!
Thanks Matt! I told Rebecca I would probably do sports, entertainment, offbeat, and stay away from politics! Then my first post is 100% political! Just trying to keep you guys on your toes!
Social Security is Disappearing Faster Than Charlie Sheen's Liver
New Congressional projections show Social Security running deficits every year until its trust funds are eventually drained in about 2037. Wait...what?! This is the headline that Americans woke up to this morning, and seems to be just more great news about the economy and the future of this [clears throat] powerful nation! Apparently before the recent economic meltdown, Social Security was a glorious program that ran huge surpluses, which the government of course borrowed to spend on other programs. Umm...whoops.
Do you prefer Roller Skates or Inline Skates?
umm...rollerblades!
Do you like to live in the city or the country?
city
Do you prefer the rain or the snow?
snow
Would you rather have pancakes or waffles?
pancakes
Which Beatle do you like better, John or Paul?
Paul
Charlie Brown or Snoopy?
One almost got shot up flying a doghouse, killing Germans, and defending our freedom...the other can't kick a football. Who do you think is better?
Better Offensive Play?
Which one of these offensive attacks is the most effective?
People or Zombies?
I love The Walking Dead, but I can't decide what is more entertaining about it. The People or the Zombies?
Who was the better Rocker?
Which member of this old school tag team was the best?
Who's the better Daniel Son love interest?
You've got the popular cheerleader on one hand, and the tea ceremony on the other. Which one did you love more?
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