Brash Equilibrium's Information:
Relationship Status: Married
Twitter: @BrashEQLibrium
Website: www.mynof3.com
Favorite Book: Ulysses. No, just kidding. Homer's The Odyssey.
Favorite Movie: Avatar. No, just kidding. FernGully.
Things you <3: crossing my legs Euro-style, admiring my hot wife, adoring my beautiful daughter, trying not to shame the rest of my family, and enjoying the company of your mother on Saturday nights
This WeekThis MonthTotal Points
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Have you missed me?
I've been out a while. I'm going to start writing some ToTs again. Miss me?
Just remember, every time you write an article, get the html code of it and copy-paste it into a word document on your PC. It will save you a headache if there's every a problem or glitch with the blog editor.
Agreed. I have done that ever since the great ToT crash of February 2011
It looks like you made the writer cut. Congratulations.
7 Epic Words to Replace the N-word in Huckleberry Finn
A few months ago, NewSouth Books announced that they would publish a new edition of Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn, in which the N-word was replaced by "slave." The move prompted an exasperated editorial by our own Rebecca Kelley. Guess what? The publishing world is at it again. Only this time, the N-word will be replaced by... ...robots. That's right. Robots. Why robots? Why the hell not? As the editors themselves admit, robots are so hot right now. I mean, the most recent ...
YAWN!ing May Signal Empathy for Chimpanzees
Here's a familiar scenario. You're in the carpool to work, feeling chipper and ready to start the day. Then your buddy sitting in the middle of the backseat lets out a big yawn. Your jaws tense. Your eyes start to water. That obnoxious mother $#%&er. Then, it happens. You open your mouth wide, and inhale loudly. That's when the dominoes start falling. By dominoes, I mean yawns. It looks a lot like this: Except without the puke. I'm with you. Yawning contests like ...
11 Words That Puberty Has Ruined
Let's play a game. I'm going to say something, then you're going try not to become: horny offended giggly all of the above Ready? Okay. I'm coming, pussy, but it's so hard and you're so wet. Plus I'm distracted by this pecker in my ear, and this cock bouncing around between my ankles, not to mention these faggots going at it good and hot behind me. Still, all things considered, I'm feeling pretty gay. But man I could use a facial, and you know I could ...
Facebook Naysayers and 4 Other Annoying Luddites
Today, class, I will rail against Facebook Naysayers and 4 Other Annoying Luddites. I will leave no stone (tool wielding hominid) unturned. Let's start with a passage from the dictionary; in this case, Merriam-Webster's: Luddite: (noun) one who is opposed to especially technological change. The term comes from a British social movement of textile workers who protested the advent of the mechanized loom in the 19th century, which they believed would devalue the human worker. The ...
No, seriously, which one is creepier?
Earlier, Rebecca (aka Queen of ToT, or her Badassness) posted this ToT: http://thisorthat.com/whats-fr eakier What kind of world would we live in if I didn't opt for one-ups-manship?
Why The Joker and Not Batman is the Savior of Us All
What if I told you that Batman is not the true hero in the Dark Knight saga? What if I told you instead that if The Joker did not exist, Gotham would be overrun by organized crime families and the corrupt politicians that live in their pockets? And what if I told you that there is mathematical proof of this argument's validity? Curious? Read on.
3 Ways to Horribly Misinterpret Dr. Seuss Books: A Progressive Dad Explains
March 2nd marked what would have been Theodore Seuss Geisel's 107th birthday (that's Dr. Seuss, for those not in the know). Thank you, Mr. Geisel, for making my childhood more colorful than an acid trip. In honor of Dr. Seuss's birthday, I'd like to clear a few misconceptions about the meaning behind his books. Full disclosure: I am a progressive, and so was Dr. Seuss. Not surprisingly, a lot of misinterpretation has come from the right.
You Say To-MAY-to, I Say To-MAH-to, You Say Emergency Laws, I Say PATRIOT Act.
Riddle me this, This or That readers. Barack Obama's administration has in the past " talked tough" about Egypt's emergency laws, and by extension other emergency laws in the Middle East. Emergency laws "allow police to arrest people without charge, detain prisoners indefinitely, limit freedom of expression and assembly, and maintain a special security court," according to the New York Times. They were put in place in several Middle Eastern countries in response to, you guessed it, terrorism.
My political campaigns article just posted. Be sure to check it out. I think I plugged you enough times, but maybe not.
You are a gentleman and a scholar. I will sing your praises from the mountain tops. And I will be the best Emperor, I mean President, this country has ever known.
Rock, Paper, Scissors Robot Redux: Brash Is Right, You're Wrong
Earlier this month, I posted about my epic Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament with the New York Times R.P.S. robot. The point of the New York times article is to demonstrate how humans are really bad at games like R.P.S. because our behavior is highly predictable. To the New York Times robot, who has near perfect recall of your and (if you played the veteran robot) 200,000 other players' tendencies in the game, your strategy very quickly becomes predictable.
How to Avoid the Robot Apocalypse: Lessons from My Rock, Paper, Scissors Match with a Computer
Today, class, we're going to learn how to avoid the robot apocalypse. This skill will become increasingly marketable as artificial intelligence becomes ever more sophisticated, and the Terminator movies become closer and closer to reality. Already, a computer has soundly whipped two Jeopardy champions. Years ago, the super computer known as Deep Blue defeated a chess Grand Master at his own game. Yesterday, chess. Today, Jeopardy. Tomorrow, genocide against all humankind.
Well, we'll at least get you on the ToT ballot. That's all I can manage at this point. I'll probably nab one of the pics off one of your posts and add you to the article. Be on the look out for my St. Patty's Day T/F article tomorrow. I think you'll enjoy it.
I will look for it tomorrow!
Hey man, I hope everything is going well with life and the family. I'm working on an article to kick off the election season to list off people who should run for president but won't or can't. I wanted to check before I did it, but I was going to add you to the list with a link to your article on why crossing your legs is manly. Is this ok with you?
Lol. Yes. I doubt it will remain on the list unfortunately, since I really should be the president. I went viral but not that viral.
Don't Waste Your Money on Microsoft Live Meeting; Yugma or Vyew Will Do That Sh*t for Free
Are you looking for a way to broadcast your presentations online in a tool that includes teleconferencing, voice conferencing, real time editing, and screen sharing? Do you like getting stuff like that for free? Well read this story about how I came across a couple of workable options: Vyew and Yugma.
The Rest of the Ring of Fire Could Learn Lessons from Japan's Seismic Building Codes
In case you haven't heard, the biggest earthquake in Japan's recent history, and the strongest ever recorded there, hit Friday. Following the quake was a massive tsunami. The tsunami submerged parts of northern Japan, but not before tossing around sport utility vehicles, yachts, and small factories like they were toys. The death toll is expected to top 10,000 and thousands remain missing.
I'm not seeing the next best Brash... Are you actually working on that school thing?
I have some articles coming out: (1) just accepted, an article in which I describe the horrific things that would happen if there were an earthquake in the Pacific Northwest of the magnitude experienced in Japan; (2) an article in which I provide three lessons on how to avoid the impending robot apocalypse, with reference to how I tied against the New York Times Rock, Paper, Scissors robot (an unlikely outcome); (3) an article I submitted a while ago, not yet accepted, comparing the free web conferencing apps Yugma and Vyew; (4) an article I've yet to finish in which I lambaste Facebook naysayers and other annoying Luddites.
What cast member of Thr Cape was a Browncoat?... You have misread the article... Summer Glau who played River on Firefly is Orwell on The Cape.
Oh, it's Summer Glau, okay. I couldn't get through the first episode of that show.
Shit. sorry. I meant to post on Matt's page. Your avatars are so similar I got confused? (That or I went from your page to his and then didn't back-pedal enough before asking a question. One or the other...you know, this or that.)
If Matt had a mustache, our avatars would be even more similar.
Hey tech-boss guy, Now that we've got a spiffy 4K facebook followers, will the blog ToT links be pushed through there? Congrats on the recent fan size boom!
Some of the blog posts have already shown up on my Facebook page (I like ToT, see).
The Argument Whether the Unborn Are Human Beings is Irrelevant: A Pro-Choicer Explains
Pro-lifers need to recognize the need for abortion as an option for family planning (more on that later). Pro-choicers (not all of us, but many) need to stop their cognitive dissonance about what abortion does. Abortion is a serious decision, because it involves, to a great extent, deciding whether or not a human being will be born.
"AOL Way" or AOHell Way? Whatever, Ex AOL Media Boss Regrets It
David Eun, the President of AOL Media and Studios, is going to resign soon. Pundits around the Internet propose two explanations, not mutually exclusive, for Mr. Eun's decision to quit AOL. First, Silicon Alley Insider (SAI) implies, based on an interview with Eun, that he regrets having drafted a document known as "The AOL Way," which laid out a bold plan to boost traffic to AOL content sites.
Shut Up About Our Declining Education System. It's Not Declining.
In a recent report by Tom Loveless, the Brookings Institution debunked popular notions about international education assessment. One of these notions involves the supposed decline of the U.S. education system, relative to other countries, from global powerhouse to pile of steaming refuse. Loveless doesn't deny the demerits of U.S. schools and the uninformed children idiots (goin' for the low blow) we allow to graduate from them.
Wouldn't a ToT app on Google Web Store kick @$$?
What the Hell is a Google Web Store app? Check this out: https://chrome.google.com/webs tore?hl=en-US
Yes sir, we are definitely making ToT the place to be. I just hope people start to realize that soon.
Well, we've got 1 chance in 34,000 by my last look at compete.com. And that's just a rank-based assessment.
Those sound great. I'm waiting on a couple things to post (robot nazi monopoly, and fans trying to buy the rights to firefly) I'm also working on an article on Romania taxing witches. I also just submitted a suggestion for the top lies of St Patty's Day.
We are doing good things.
So are you working on anything interesting articlewise?
1) article on abortion rights 2) article on AOL media boss quitting 3) list of six annoying types of Luddite, including facebook naysayers 4) Article reviewing two "free" web conferencing apps. You?
Are Jon, Matt and Rebecca really the same person?
Recently, the Daily Kos reported on the frightening scheme of HP Gary to create multiple personae to anti-culture-jam through manufactured conformist bias. So I got to thinking. I got really freaked out when I started wondering if I am just one of Rebecca's avatars.
Well, I did my undergrad for Elementary Educaion and English and my Masters in Literacy. Unfortunately, it's an ugly time to want to be a teacher. What are you in grad school for?
Man I'm sorry to head that. In my opinion, it should never be an ugly time to be a teacher. I'm in grad school for biological anthropology and demography. I do work with migrant laborers and their families. I'll be in shook another two to three years
This explains a lot. 1. I'm done with grad school, but broke and trying to pay all my bills while substitute teaching. 2. I've been trying to be irrelevant to the point of being relevant. 3. I've been trying to cross my legs while standing on my head. (Which it turns out is bad for your neck.
Is there any better way to answer a ToT question than with a question...rather two? So also, what did you go to graduate school for?
What Did George Washington Look Like? A Computer Algorithm Will Show You
ScienceNOW, the utterly sensationalized offshoot of the otherwise reputable Science magazine, reported on a new computer algorithm that may help historians get a more accurate picture of past U.S. presidents. Literally. When you think of George Washington, you probably think of the craggy, solemn face you see on the one dollar bill (unless you are under the age of twenty, in which case you don't know who George Washington is, and you've never used paper currency; flame away, youngsters). The iconic portrait was painted by Gilbert Stuart, who also immortalized five other U.S. presidents. Physician and history buff Eric Altschuler, seeing these portraits in the Smithsonian's National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C., asked himself what we've all been thinking: Did those dudes really look like that?
Hey man, I was just wondering if you were planning on offering any classes on extreme manliness and being an internet phenomenon?
Dude, I was just about to ask you the same question. But since you asked, I have the following tips on (trying) to become an internet phenomenon: 1) Be a broke and desperate graduate student who needs to make extra cash to help support his family while he's off to do fieldwork for a year. 2) Be utterly irreverent, to the point where you've gone full circle to become reverent. 3) Cross your legs Euro-style. The third tip will also help with becoming extremely manly.
Colony Collapse Disorder Explained: Bees Just Saying, "#?!$ It."
Entomologist E.V. Eerkh, Professor of Biology at Cornell in Ithaca, NY, walks fearlessly up to the bee hive. He measures it, peers inside, sighs, and moves on to the next hive he's marked with a bright orange flag just ten yards away. With six graduate students, he's tasked with estimating the nation's population of honey bees, and things aren't looking good.
Hate to break it to you, but Ulysees beets The Odyssey, and Infinite Jest kicks the intestinal waste out of both of them. As far as epics go its down to Infinite Jest and Gravity's Rainbow...
I was unaware that beet was a verb. And if it is the epic we are after, Gilgamesh is the one that started it all. Yo, Dawg, I put a trump in your trump so you could get trumped while you trump.
6 Utterly Mundane WikiLeaks
The controversy surrounding WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange's arrest resurfaced in the mainstream media as his lawyers recently argued against his extradition to Sweden. With all the kerfuffle about the man, it is easy to miss the latest intelligence that his controversial leaks site releases. This is especially true for the WikiLeaks we cover below, which are, putting it mildly, mundane. Quite bluntly, they might lull you to sleep. Read them anyway to be part of the information revolution. Besides, who knows what sensational diamonds lie in the hum drum rough?
I would murder you in your sleep if you were my husband. I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
My wife chose instead to do some very nice things to me before we drifted off to sleep.
Egyptian Revolution and the Gini Coefficient: A Social Scientist Turned ToTer Breaks It Down
In the wake of massive protest, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak said last Tuesday that he will not seek re-election. Psych! Hundreds of thousands of people gathered in Tahrir Square this Thursday to listen to what they thought would be President Mubarak's resignation speech. Instead, they got trolled harder than that guy who posted an innocent ad for a jogging partner, to which this guy responded.
I'll post a picture comparison later! You should be careful though, what with your weekend dalliances...
You Dad's Amish beard may inspire me to create one of my very own.
it's a small world after all. He looks just like me except add an Omish beard
That is an hilarious image.
Do you know my dad? Dr TH Burnett in Physics dept?
What the Hell? Everyone is tied to UW somehow! I do not know him. I do, however, know people who work with physicists at UW.
This is the story of Benjamin Chabot-Hanowell, a graduate student in anthropology and demography at the University of Washington. That's me. ah. just had to click through. question- hmmm... does not researching all the availalbe resources make me seem dumb?
Seeing as I am but a lowly content monkey, I don't consider you moronic for insufficiently researching my other personae.
General exams in what? And who's doing the examining?
I am a graduate student in anthropology and demography at the University of Washington. My torture squad aka supervisory committee will administer the exam.
what does your hot wife think about the fling you're having with my mom? as much as I like her being taken off my hands and all, it is a little weird for a 70 year old woman to be consorting with a 26 year old man. Just sayin'
My hot wife has understood my fascination with older ladies ever since she found out one of my few celebrity crushes: Helen Mirren. She's coping with it well.
haven't seen your handsome mug much lately. You didn't get a real job did you?!?
HA! I laugh. I'm preparing for my General Exams right now. Hopefully, some of my latest and greatest articles will be coming out: one containing 6 Utterly Mundane (and fictitious) WikiLeaks, the other poking fun at an algorithm some scientists devised to interpret presidential portraits. Another provides an explanation for Bee Colony COllapse Disorder: Bees are just saying Fuck it
Well written article. Where did you find the original article?
On the Knight XV? My brother's friend Facebooked a link to the Knight XV's website. I checked it out. "Police state" and "zombie apocalypse" came immediately to mind.
The Knight XV SUV: Unjust Tool of the Police State or Zombie Apocalypse Necessity?
Meet the Knight XV, the latest proof that we've reached an era of over-indulgence, rampant social inequality, and a police state. Alternatively, the XV could be yet another sign that people are preparing for inevitable zombie apocalypse.
Do my fellow ToTers want a weekly badass who crosses his legs Euro-style?
By now, you've probably read my S-IAMMWCTLE-S manifesto in Offbeat, "5 reasons crossing your legs like a chick is manly." In the aftermath of this path-breaking essay, I ask you a very important question: Are five, technically six, reasons enough? Of course that's enough. But don't you want more anyway?
Well. Done. Sir. Or ma'am.
Bring it you big girl!!!
I'm just bog boned!!!
When I see your spiffy mug I think of Austin, Texas. Does that mean I really like the Counting Crows?
I don't know, but if it does, it means you like a kickass band, and a kickass town.
Hey Brash, I am in the process of filling out my paperwork to start writing for the site and i had a quick question... What did you think about the writer's agreement, particularly section 6 "intellectual property". Have you had any problems?
If I had problems with it, I wouldn't have signed the document.
Should Jogden and Brash Equilibrium combine forces to generate the most ridiculous top N list of all time?
You've seen Jogden's Bieber list. Pimp masta flex did all that photoshopping himself, and wrote some top-notch snarkto boot. And Brash is rockin' it Euro-style all over the reddits. Should these ToTers combine forces for the ultimate of all ToTs?
5 Reasons Crossing Your Legs Like a Chick is Manly
A man, the leader of America's largest and only interest group for men who cross their legs like chicks, gives five reasons why you should do so as well.
I'm looking for a good nemesis. Got any ideas?
It appears that ToT is still experiencing some bugs. I'll be your Huckleberry is what i said in my last response.
Which is the funnier pic I just saw on reddit?
Incidentally, I just gave you hint on my prior ToT about how to spell "which."
Who is sad that he's no longer majority vote for most interesting man in the world?
Yesterday, I asked you who you thought was the most interesting man in the world: (a) the most interesting man in the world, or (b) me. And you chose him! Him! How could you! I'll be in my trailer!
Are you a hipster?
Despite the ironic mustache in my profile picture, I am NOT A FUCKING HIPSTER!! (And yes, I did ask myself this question to nip that cat in its dry teat).
505 is a song. Did you know that?
TIL: 505 is a song.
If you explode zombies into True Blood style gore and mess, would you please angle away from my shoes?
As a one-time wannabe ballet dancer who never learned point, I will do as you ask.
Would you fight a zombie with mental superpowers?
I'll answer your question with a question: Can you use mental superpowers, other than telekinesis, on the near-mindless undead? Are we talking Michael Ironside in Scanners? If so, do I have a HAZMAT suit on to protect myself from the infected pink mist that results?
Tell me everything there is to know about your hat.
It is a short and, at first, disappointing story. I bought it at REI so I could wear it when I went to archaeological field school. Then I took it with me last summer to the Commonwealth of Dominica, where I do my dissertation field research. I bartered it for some lani rum, and I've missed it ever since.
No. I'm afraid you don't see. You undoubtedly have that strange quality, ignorance.
Oh, it's on! It's on, AndyyyF123!
Thing is, i'm not battling for "top user of the month" i didn't even know the site had one until now :L
Ah. An idiot savant. I see.
Are you really that sad? :')
Touche, my young friend. Touche.
11 People I'd Like to See Eaten Early in the Zombie Apocalypse
You may recall This or That's list of 11 people they'd want to survive with in a zombie apocalypse. Your chances of surviving that zombie apocalypse, however, are nil, no matter what bad-ass you have on your side (take your pick here). Do you seriously want to be annoyed, sad or pissed off while you're awaiting your grotesque end?
Badass Ghurka Soldier Fends Off 40 Train Robbers and Saves a Teen from Getting Raped
Bishnu Shrestha is a retired Ghurka soldier who fended off 40 train robbers and prevented an 18 year old woman from getting raped, and he did it with nothing but a big knife, a big pair of balls, and a lifetime of elite military training supported by a cultural legacy of martial valor.
Do you like to live in the city or the country?
Mars
Do you prefer Coke or Pepsi?
Water
Do you prefer Roller Skates or Inline Skates?
Unicycle
Do you prefer to shop online or in the store?
Online
Who do you like better, Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan?
Neither
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