Entertainment News

An Open Letter to Hollywood
Dear Hollywood, This is the first letter I have written to a place/nebulous corporate machine. I hope it finds you well. Sequels, reboots, re-imaginings, retreads, and reheated leftovers are the order of the day for you. This isn't news; every entertainment blog from Here to Some Other Place Really Far From Here has commented on it. Even the dimmest bulb only has to look up at the nearest theater marquee and see how many titles either have numbers at the end, or used to belong to a 1970'...

James Cameron Does It At a Faster Frame Rate
At the recent CinemaCon, Avatar director James Cameron tried again to revolutionize movie presentation. He tried it once before with 3D which, while it was cool for a while, wound up being just a revolutionary way to annoy people. Now he's trying it again with faster frame rates, and we'll soon find out if his next giant step forward lands in a giant puddle. Ever since the 1920's, movies have been projected at 24 frames per second. It was a technical limitation of the era that...

New Wonder Woman Costume is Slightly Less Streetwalkerish
As expected, the public outcry about Adrianne Palicki's new Wonder Woman suit led to a redesign. The shiny spandex pants are gone, replaced by cloth that looks much less like a lady of the evening. And she now has red boots to contrast against the blue pants. Though I still fear there may be a "wardrobe malfunction" up top, overall the new design is an improvement. But NBC, who has elevated screwing up to an art form, is promoting the new outfit with photos that make Adrianne ...

The Dothraki Way: Game of Thrones is Awesome and Orson Scott Card is a Whiny Loser
Orson Scott Card, famed sci-fi writer of such classics as Ender's Game, had this to say about HBO's latest balls-out ratings board bitch-slap Game of Thrones, a serial adaptation of George R.R. Martin's series of fantasy novels: "...I must confess to disappointment bordering on disgust. They poured so much money into a lavish production and engaged the services of so many talented actors that it's deplorable that they're working with a script that is so very, very ...

Good News for Masochists: The Next Two Installments of Atlas Shrugged Are Back On
When Atlas Shrugged Part I turned out to be both a critical and financial bomb, its producer made a sour face and declared that if critics weren't going to play nice he was going to take his toys and go home. This led a plethora of puns regarding the film's title, and it's a damn shame that well has been fully tapped because I really wanted to title this article "Producer of Atlas Shrugged Shrugs Off the Fact That His Movie Sucked and Nobody Liked It." I guess that would ...

Not So "Fast" Fives: 5 Fourth Sequels That Sucked
While Fast Five was released on Friday to mostly positive reviews and dominated the weekend box office, some other fourth sequels haven't been as fortunate. Not many film franchises extend to at least four sequels, and even fewer manage to make them halfway decent. Here are some of the crappiest movies to crank out a way subpar 5th iteration. Rocky V (1990) Director of Oscar-winning original, check! Main cast intact, check! Bill Conti's iconic score, check! So why do series ...

The 10 Greatest Cover Songs of All Time
Cover songs are usually just a necessity for bar bands lacking original compositions, or a lazy way established acts can cash in and expand their fan base. Most covers are met with the derision they deserve, like Britney Spears' destruction of The Stones' Satisfaction, Pat Boone's In a Metal Mood album, and William Shatner chewing up Beatles and Elton John tunes the same way he does dialogue (and, judging by his weight, sandwiches with extra cheese). On occasion however, some ...

Duncan Jones Might Keep "The Wolverine" From Sucking
The latest in the "X-Men" franchise, "The Wolverine," has had a challenging development cycle. First the original director, Darren Arronofsky, abandoned it because of scheduling conflicts. (Which is sad, because an Arronofsky-directed Wolverine would have been fascinating.) Then it had to be put on hold because most of its story is set in Japan, a country that has things on its mind right now that are somewhat more pressing than the filming of a superhero movie. But now it...

5 Incredibly Annoying Hollywood Couples
A lot of amazing things have come out of Hollywood, but unfortunately the area has also introduced us to some terrible things. Perhaps the most terrifyingly horrible thing Hollywood has ever unleashed on society is its famous couples. They are all the very definition of annoying, but these five pairs really steal the spotlight. 1. Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi Everyone loves Ellen and Portia! That, my friends, is what makes them one of the most annoying Hollywood couples. They absolutely ...

Arnold's Not Finished Terminating
To paraphrase a famous scene from the 80's classic "Commando": "Remember, Sully, when I promised I wouldn't do another big action movie because I'm too old?" "That's right, Arnold, you did!" "I lied." But Arnold's not looking at doing just any old action movie. No sir, he's going back to the biggest of them all. Rumour has it he's doing "Terminator 5." The latest director to beat this dead horse is Justin ...

Gwyneth Paltrow: My Grandmother Was a Real 'See You Next Tuesday'
My oh my, someone has a dirty filthy mouth! Actress Gwyneth Paltrow has dropped her GOOPy 'better than thou' demeanor and doled out some shockingly harsh words about her deceased grandmother. During Monday night's visit to Chelsea Lately, the subject of Gwyneth Paltrow's strict German grandmother, whom she called mutti instead of Grandma, came up. Turns out Chelsea had her own 'mutti' as well, whom the host characterized, "a real bitch." Not to be outdone, ...

Demographic Downfall: Television Executives Missing the Point
It might seem that, by now, television would have been around long enough that executives and network heads might understand how to operate things. Yet, every year in the new millennium has shown that this is not only a mistaken assumption, but that it almost appears that these same people running the show at network headquarters are almost trying to undo everything that is successful at making them money. As with most elements of life, hindsight will be 20/20, yet some of us can see clearly ...

Who You Gonna Call? Not Ernie Hudson, Apparently
There may not be any more universally loved science fiction comedy movie than Ghost Busters. There may not be any more reviled science fiction comedy than Ghost Busters II. This makes the persistent rumors that there is going to be a Ghost Busters III some 22 years after the sequel was released a bit watershed. On the one hand, if the producers and directors and writers could do the movie right, there is no doubt that they could have a big time hit on their hands, as the phrase "Who you ...

5 Bets to Place on the Royal Wedding
Attention gambling addicts! March Madness and the Super Bowl are in the history books, and the Kentucky Derby is still weeks away. The NBA and NHL playoffs are still dragging along and baseball season seems to last 20 years. Need some quick, easy bets to satisfy your craving for action this week? Here's something both you and your lady-friend can enjoy: the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Unlike the puritanical attitudes toward gambling exhibited by the USofA government, ...

The Curious Case of Mel's Beaver
Some clusterf@#ks are too good to be true.Oscar-winning director and co-producer, booze-wielding anti-semite, and lord of all he surveys (Malibu) Mel Gibson has conquered everything from post-apocolyptic biker gangs to diplomatically immune criminals to ruthless monarchs, but now he has truly met his match in the form of...a ragged beaver puppet? Starting on May 6, moviegoers will have the opportunity to spend roughly 10 bucks to see Gibson find a new purpose in life through a toy rodent in ...

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