Aside from the obvious shark-jumping fact that nobody can wrap their heads around how the show is going to explain Charlie Sheen's departure and Ashton Kutcher's arrival without it being totally stupid, to me the bigger question isn't why won't they just put this show out of its misery or what kind of moron actually watches and enjoys Two and a Half Men, but rather how in the hell does Ashton Kutcher keep getting steady work? The dude is a terrible actor whose biggest claims to fame are playing mimbos, punking celebrities, bringing the trucker cap to the forefront of fashion, tweeting, and coming up with vanity charity projects because all of the legitimately talented celebrities have called dibs on better charities (and they don't need to come up with PSAs that try way too hard to be hip and irreverent to spread their message).

I guess good looks really do take you far in life -- just look at the Kutch. He doesn't let that whole "lack of any discernible talent" thing get in the way of shilling for Pop Chips and Nikon, boning a shell of a woman who hasn't had a carb since 2000, and being cast in a replacement role on one of the worst shows in America. Who needs critical acclaim and respect from your peers when you've got a chiseled jaw, six-pack abs, and That 70's Show royalties?