You probably won't be able to muster up any sort of emotion other than apathetic indifference for this piece of news, and I don't blame you. However, if you're one of the four people on this planet who's genuinely a fan of Tila Tequila, you may be outraged by what happened to her recently at a concert. For those of you who aren't in the know, Tila Tequila is a diminutive Asian bobblehead who is literally only famous because she had a lot of MySpace friends. She crapped out a couple of reality TV dating shows and has inexplicably managed to stay semi-famous despite the fact that MySpace hasn't been relevant for the past couple years, and gonorrhea hasn't been popular since ever.

Look at that giant head

Ms. Tequila recently booked an appearance at the "Gathering of the Juggalos" in Illinois, a concert put on by uber-craptacular Detroit "band" Insane Clown Posse. For the record, this is what Insane Clown Posse looks like:

What a pair of winners

Based on the group's appearance and their stellar discography comprised of such songs as "Santa's a Fat Bitch" and "F**k the World," you can imagine what the group who make up their fan base and call themselves "juggalos" are like. Anyone with half a brain can deduce that booking an appearance at a Juggalos concert and attention whoring yourself on stage probably won't go over well with this crowd.

Unfortunately, Ms. Tequila does not possess the requisite half-brain that would conclude such a thing, so she made an appearance at the show and was shocked to find that her cutesy-desperate-sexy-no-discernible-skills-whatsoever act didn't win over a crowd of delinquents who idolize two fat old white guys in clown makeup. The mob threw rocks, bottles, and feces at her while she was on stage, and they didn't let up when she took her top off, proclaimed that she wasn't going anywhere, and started singing. Did she really think her stupid fake boobs and off-key warbling were going to magically lull the crowd as if they had just seen the contents of Marcellus Wallace's briefcase?.

So to recap:

1. Tila Tequila books an appearance at the Gathering of the Juggalos under the misguided assumption that trashy, violent dudes who listen to shit music would be excited and happy to see her.
   
2. She went on stage despite being warned that the crowd was planning to target her. In fact, apparently "someone had a watermelon that had been fermenting in urine and feces for two days" and had been "saving it all weekend for Tila." That doesn't exactly sound like a warm welcome to me. (Well, it's a "warm" welcome, but not the "fuzzy and happy" kind of warm.)
   
3. She thinks that taking her top off, shouting, "I ain't going nowhere!", and singing is an appropriate reaction to getting pelted with stones and poop. (I, meanwhile, think "I am immediately going elsewhere!" is the more expected response when getting hit by projectile turds.)
   
4. Now she's going the full-blown victim route and plans on suing the venue. She's circulating images of her battered, bloody face for sympathy.

Normally I'm against innocent people being attacked by thugs, and ICP fans are the cream of the crop, but seriously now, is Tila Tequila for real? I don't go wandering around a dangerous, terrifying neighborhood by myself at 2 am wearing a skimpy outfit and holding a wad of cash and then act totally surprised when I get assaulted and robbed. Ms. Tequila was warned beforehand that the crowd was going to be hostile. She didn't listen, nor did she leave in a timely manner when the mob started to act up; instead, she aggravated them even more and, unsurpisingly, got injured. Now she tries to play the victim card? I hate to be unsympathetic, but when you compromise your own safety and integrity for attention, fame and profit, you deserve to have crap (literally) thrown at you.

What do you think about the Juggalos attack on Tila Tequila? Cast your vote and fling some comments like they're a hot handful of feces, yo!

What do you think about the Juggalos attack on Tila Tequila?