The Knight XV SUV: Unjust Tool of the Police State or Zombie Apocalypse Necessity?

Posted on by Benjamin Chabot-Hanowell (Brash Equilibrium)
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Meet the Knight XV, the latest proof that we've reached an era of over-indulgence, rampant social inequality, and a police state. Alternatively, the XV could be yet another sign that people are preparing for inevitable zombie apocalypse.

Here's a picture of the XV dwarfing and out-glossing the H2 Hummer:

Like a chihuahua trying to hump a Great Dane.

Check out the Knight XV's brochure for info about its key features, which may inspire awe, disgust, or both. Here are the essentials:

  • the beast takes thousands of hours to build "by hand"
  • it is exorbitantly expensive
  • you can have it possessed by a soul-eating demon for only a few thousand dollars extra.
What sets the XV apart from its competitors is that it is not simply retrofitted with armor and bulletproof windows. The XV is built from the ground up as an armored gas hog, and a lamb is slaughtered over its hood before, not after, it has been test-driven. In addition, there's plenty of room in the backseat, Italian pimp masta flex Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi!

But let's get down to brass tacks, or rather double reinforced titanium side-mounted-turret mounts. Why the $*&# would anybody--other than, say, the Egyptian oppressive, U.S.-backed dictator President Hosni Mubarak, or perhaps Russian shirtless, tiger-killing oligarch Prime Minister Vladimir Putin--need this behemoth (other than driving through a zombie herd)? It's a question people often ask about Hummer drivers who live in, say, Fresno, California. In this case, the question drives at the continuing debate about the merits and demerits of the modern military industrial complex, and the indulgence of the few at the expense of the many.

Is it, however, so easy to discard the Knight XV and its bullet-proof vehicle predecessors as weapons of the state against the huddled masses? In a world supporting seven billion people, a small percentage of crazies could number hundreds of thousands. No wonder our leaders--who despite our salient criticisms provide a crucial public service--are scared out of their $*&#ing minds. But it's hard to look at this monstrosity without asking, "Is this necessary?"

You decide.

Is the Knight XV the tool of an elitist police state, or a zombie apocalypse necessity?

3292 views & 18 votes

Debate It! 9

That's crazy. How much does it cost - I stopped reading the brochure after all the specs of the glass...

Posted By BrianN,

That is just another sign of a police state is coming near. This is one of the most ridiculous vehicles that I have ever seen. Unless you consider the Chinese mobile death vans or the TSA Viper squad's X-ray vans a little more ridiculous.

Posted By Mr.Truther,

If there were a zombie apocalypse, how would you find enough gas to fuel this thing?

Posted By JohnG,

JohnG: You hit the nail right on the head, buddy.

Posted By Brash Equilibrium,

You learn how to siphon gas from other vehicles quickly and generously.

Posted By jogden,

John G, there would plenty of bio diesel in the form of rotting corpses and dead undead. You just have to "process" them hehe.

Posted By 11thzone,

If it can convert to bio diesel, I want one!

Posted By Hotdogman,

Must be very efficient. I love the hummer-like SUVs, they look like a mini tank.

Posted By Forgual,

Thats just incredibly awesome! i totally want one for zombie apocalypse

Posted By Millort,

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