Steve Jobs Is Like a God to You

Posted on by Jeremy Clymer (jclymer)
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As any Android phone owner who has ever been sneered at by an iPhone owner can attest, Apple fans have a very real, often irritating devotion to the brand. It should come as no surprise, then, that neuroscientists have found that Apple inspires a religious reaction in the brains of its devotees.

The study was part of a BBC program called Secret of the Superbrands, which attempted to answer the question of why the world's most successful brands are as dominant as they are. The neuroscientists employed by the show studies the brain patterns of an Apple fanatic and discovered that for him viewing the Apple logo had roughly the same effect on his brain as a Crucifixion scene might have on Mel Gibson's. (They did not specify whether or not that included a raging erection.)

Of course, this connection would have been made even more direct had the confession app for Catholics met approval by the Vatican, but alas, that did not happen. The penitent will still have to travel to their local church to confess to worshipping their functional yet stylish false idols. Forgive me, father, for I have played Angry Birds at least 13 hours this week.

Ten Commandments? There's an app for that. (Photo by Matt Buchanan)

Other brands studied by the show include Facebook and Nokia, but really, there's not much comparison there. If you're anything like me, you probably curse Facebook out every time you use it and curse your family and friends out for pressuring you to sign up for it in the first place, and you definitely curse every time you see one of those stupid user-generated polls that started littering your feed recently. Compare that to the average iPhone owner happily prancing from person to person and showing off the newest app he or she got and nobody else cares about. That's quite a different level of consumer satisfaction. Also: Nokia? Really? Don't make me laugh.

Someday maybe religion will be abolished and people will no longer fight wars about whose god is cooler than all the rest. It seems doubtful, though, that we will ever see an end to people trying to justify their extravagant purchases by trashing competing products. Sales-wise, the Android reformists have won major ground against the established Apple patriarchy, but maybe one day they will be united against a common foe, a false start-up that seduces consumers and then damns their very souls to Hell. On that day will you be one of the chosen ones ascending heavenward while clutching your iPad, or will you be left behind at Best Buy desperately trying to return your BlackBerry PlayBook? Personally, I'll still be too broke to buy either, so I'm pretty much screwed.

Eternity is calling. Which phone do you answer on?

1719 views & 19 votes

Debate It! 3

iPhone has so many flaws

Posted By dylancayleb,

so coooooooooooooooooool @_@

Posted By Kaishin143,

both of them are nice..

Posted By Kaishin143,

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