How to Give Up Facebook in 7 Easy Steps

Posted on by Angela Longerbeam (A.Lo)
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The season of Lent is upon us, and chances are, you're going to hear a lot of friends discussing their chosen sacrifices. Chocolate, swearing, alcohol. So many of life's delights, forbidden for 40 insufferably long days. Some folks might even be deluded enough to say they are quitting Facebook. Maybe you're one of them.

Are you?

*Pause for stifled, mocking laughter.*

Dude, you're never going to make it. I give it three days, tops. Best to pick a goal that's a bit more attainable -- Jesus will totally understand.

If you are, in fact, bound and determined to quit Facebook on a temporary or even *gasp* permanent basis, during Lent or at any time of year, here are seven ways you might fill the void.

1. Commune With Nature

Photo by Davichi

No, seriously. Go for a walk in the woods, meditate on a mountaintop, lay out in your backyard and bask. It will be beautiful for little while. Until the mosquitoes bite. And the sun burns your skin. And a snake slithers over your foot. Are the outdoors really all they're cracked up to be?

2. Find a Replacement Habit

Spend all the time you normally use for Facebook on a different activity, such as exercising knitting reading a book smoking. Why not? It's social. And it will soothe your frazzled nerves every time you remember, I'm not allowed to check Facebook anymore.

3. Watch Paint Dry

Photo by nebulux76

Paint comes in many beautiful colors, including Facebook's signature blue and white. Consider that watching it dry just might be a whole lot more interesting than reading some of your friends' updates. Maybe even your own.

4. Channel Stuart Smalley

Photo by Randy Stewart

Don't most Facebook status updates really contain the subtext that we are good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like us? All Stuart Smalley needed to say that was a chair, a mirror and a smile. He didn't need a Facebook account, and neither do you.

5. Invest in a Pair of Binoculars

Photo by gerlos

To satisfy your inner voyeur like Facebook, directly spy on neighbors and coworkers instead. Unfortunately, you'll be a bit more conspicuous out in the open rather than behind your computer screen. But if spotted, the binoculars might provide a nice conversation piece.

6. Join Twitter

In the TwitterVerse, you can stalk celebrities, form friendships with complete strangers and create #ridiculoustrendingtopics. Twitter's question of What are you doing? is so much easier to answer than Facebook's What's on your mind? And anyway, let's be honest, Twitter is where all the cool kids hang out. It's where we complain about our Facebook friends.

7. Spend Time with Actual People

Photo by pixietart

I know. That would be really weird, right? Forget it was ever mentioned.

Surely by now you understand that giving up Facebook, for reasons of Lent or insanity, isn't really a viable option. But would you -- could you -- ever unfriend Facebook itself?

Would you ever unfriend Facebook?

3413 views & 48 votes

Debate It! 5

Its sad that its gotten this far, lol. Im only on fb 5 mins every day and I could most definately give it up for a while (Twitter is better than facebook, thought I should mention that :P)
Nice article :)

Posted By polerberr,

I'm starting a 12 step program that should help with this...;-)

Mtn Jim

Posted By mtnjim,

i started getting on facebook for 10 15 minutes... now i get on for 2 HOURS at least ..... i have a problem im gonna give up on facebook and... start my twitter acount!!!

Posted By dd1998,

you forgot waste time on This or That as an alternative!

Posted By Karla,

don't smoke! but i love facebook too much to give it up :P

Posted By bunny0974,

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