How to Give Up Facebook in 7 Easy Steps
Posted on by Angela Longerbeam (A.Lo)URL for sharing: http://thisorth.at/1ey9
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The season of Lent is upon us, and chances are, you're going to hear a lot of friends discussing their chosen sacrifices. Chocolate, swearing, alcohol. So many of life's delights, forbidden for 40 insufferably long days. Some folks might even be deluded enough to say they are quitting Facebook. Maybe you're one of them.
Paint comes in many beautiful colors, including Facebook's signature blue and white. Consider that watching it dry just might be a whole lot more interesting than reading some of your friends' updates. Maybe even your own.
4. Channel Stuart Smalley
6. Join Twitter
Are you?
*Pause for stifled, mocking laughter.*
Dude, you're never going to make it. I give it three days, tops. Best to pick a goal that's a bit more attainable -- Jesus will totally understand.
If you are, in fact, bound and determined to quit Facebook on a temporary or even *gasp* permanent basis, during Lent or at any time of year, here are seven ways you might fill the void.
1. Commune With Nature
Photo by Davichi
No, seriously. Go for a walk in the woods, meditate on a mountaintop, lay out in your backyard and bask. It will be beautiful for little while. Until the mosquitoes bite. And the sun burns your skin. And a snake slithers over your foot. Are the outdoors really all they're cracked up to be?
2. Find a Replacement Habit
Photo by NeilsPhotography
Spend all the time you normally use for Facebook on a different activity, such as exercising knitting reading a book smoking. Why not? It's social. And it will soothe your frazzled nerves every time you remember, I'm not allowed to check Facebook anymore.
3. Watch Paint Dry
Paint comes in many beautiful colors, including Facebook's signature blue and white. Consider that watching it dry just might be a whole lot more interesting than reading some of your friends' updates. Maybe even your own.
4. Channel Stuart Smalley
Photo by Randy Stewart
Don't most Facebook status updates really contain the subtext that we are good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like us? All Stuart Smalley needed to say that was a chair, a mirror and a smile. He didn't need a Facebook account, and neither do you.
5. Invest in a Pair of Binoculars
Photo by gerlos
To satisfy your inner voyeur like Facebook, directly spy on neighbors and coworkers instead. Unfortunately, you'll be a bit more conspicuous out in the open rather than behind your computer screen. But if spotted, the binoculars might provide a nice conversation piece.
6. Join Twitter
In the TwitterVerse, you can stalk celebrities, form friendships with complete strangers and create #ridiculoustrendingtopics. Twitter's question of What are you doing? is so much easier to answer than Facebook's What's on your mind? And anyway, let's be honest, Twitter is where all the cool kids hang out. It's where we complain about our Facebook friends.
7. Spend Time with Actual People
Photo by pixietart
I know. That would be really weird, right? Forget it was ever mentioned.
Surely by now you understand that giving up Facebook, for reasons of Lent or insanity, isn't really a viable option. But would you -- could you -- ever unfriend Facebook itself?
Would you ever unfriend Facebook?
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Nice article :)
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Mtn Jim
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