This isn't something from an episode of Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits. Google (yes, that Google) has created driverless cars and is lobbying the state of Nevada to get them legalized. There is no word on whether the cars meticulously track your movements and hit you with targeted ads at the gas pump. In any case, it's official: Google has too damn much money. I'm going to start searching with Bing. (OK, not really.) Then again, I should be glad some company in America can still make cars without a taxpayer bailout.

But the cars do give me cause for concern.


Google announced this technology back in 2010, to a collective "Whatever" from the world at large. They have tested the vehicles more than 140,000 miles in California, and several of those tests were without any human driver in the car. Of course, you could test a driverless car during rush hour traffic in Los Angeles and really, no one could tell the difference. A bot moves two inches per hour just as easily as a human driver, after all.

The company has two pieces of legislation on the table in Nevada. One would allow the licensing and operation of these cars, the other would allow drivers to text while using the cars. Texting makes perfect sense -- it's not like this technology is brand new or anything. You wouldn't want to actually pay attention in case you need to flip the switch that turns the car back to manual control. Go ahead. Text, play Nintendo 3DS and drink scorching lawsuit-flavored McDonald's hot coffee while not driving. That's just what our road raging society needs, another excuse for drivers to pay even less attention to what's going on around them. This may be the most transparent ploy ever by our robot overlords-in-waiting. Besides which, Toyota already experimented with autonomous cars. Their brakes had a mind of their own, and that didn't go over too well with customers.


I just don't think society (even in Nevada) is ready for driverless cars. All it would take is one accident in which somebody says the car is at fault. Not to mention the legal questions it would open up. Is it still drunk driving if you're not controlling the car? If you get a ticket, can you send the bill to Google because the car ran a red light? If we've learned anything about technology, it's that it takes humanity about two seconds to misuse it. These cars would be on the market about an hour before some gang banger pulled the first computer-assisted drive-by shooting.

Sure, somebody had to be the first person to board a train. Somebody had to be first to get on an airplane. Those were new and frightening experiences the first time. But you could feel a little safer knowing that there was an actual, live human being steering the machine upfront. We're far from perfect, but I still trust humans more than machines. I'm not ready to roll the dice with an auto-car, because I don't want to know what happens if it craps out.

Would you ride in an autonomous car?