These days, anyone can be star. It doesn't matter how much talent you have, as long as you get sufficient media coverage. Can't sing? No problem! It can all be sorted out during the editing process anyway. Since the debut of auto-tune in Cher's 1998 single 'Believe', it has been used to great and boundless effect by the music industry, perhaps to prepare us for the day when all our music is made by robots. Auto-tune can make anyone sound good. You don't even need to be anywhere close to the note that you're aiming for.

Case in point...

Enter Rebecca Black. Not so much a pop princes as a product churned out by the aptly named Ark Music Factory (in the business of selling dreams since 2010). If you haven't yet been subjected to her vocal stylings, you can check out her hit single 'Friday' here.

image via Magix

Negative reactions to the song have been almost unanimous, so I don't think I have to add any more to the mix. I first saw the video when one of my friends posted it on Facebook under the heading 'omg check it out this is awful' or something similar, and of course I had to see what all the fuss was about and link it to everyone I knew. If you repeat this with a couple million people, suddenly she's on TV and everyone knows about her. Yep...you can now achieve stardom through being spectacularly terrible.

And you can earn a boatload of cash doing it. Music industry website Billboard estimates Rebecca Black's current earnings at about $24,900 per week. Not nearly as much as a platinum record, but not bad considering the video cost only $2,000 to make and was only released on the internet. So the more you hate her, the more famous she gets, and the more money she makes.

In the interests of returning Ms Black into the pool of obscurity from which she crawled, I intend to launch a small viral campaign to popularise the following video as an alternative to 'Friday':

Now every time I think about rival gangs of tweens beating each other to death with frozen chicken, I get a small tingle in my shriveled old heart.

Where should she SIT, guys?!