A Guide to Being Unemployed

Posted on by Evan Morris (ev.morris28)
URL for sharing: http://thisorth.at/62ok
The economic collapse back in 2008 left many people, including me, dealing with lay-offs, high unemployment, and less jobs to go after, and even though the landscape is improving it hasn't fully recovered. People are still out of work and dealing with the pressures and stresses that come along with it. So, I thought I could help.

As an expert at all things, and having dealt with being unemployed for a decent part of the last year, I've put together a guide to help many of you through this tough time. It's just some simple tips and suggestions that might help you cope and pass the time in productive ways.

WARNING: Getting 100% Memory Synch on Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood is awesome, but not productive and will not be included in the guide.

Spend Time With Your Dog

Author's Note: If you don't have a dog, I suggest you stop reading and go get one immediately.

This is my dog Boudreaux (pronounced: Boo-dro) who was born in Louisiana and has a little bit of Cajun in him. Dogs are important to have around when you're unemployed because they are always going to be your best friend and they don't really care if you're making money or not. As long as the Purina One keeps getting served they are happy, and they give you at least some responsibility to walk and/or play with them. This is important because without any responsibility an unemployed person can quickly fall into a dangerous spiral filled with The Price is Right and ER reruns. Before you know it, you haven't showered in two days and the Ramen noodles diet you're on is starting to have some seriously negative effects on your health.

Practice Your Martial Arts

Author's Note: If you don't practice any martial arts, I suggest you stop reading and go start.

I spent a lot of my time working on my technique and training my mind and body to be one. Becoming a master is of course a life long journey, but it kept me active and busy during my unemployment. This also comes in handy if you're out at a bar and someone steps on your new sneakers, or if you're forced to move across the country for your mom's work and everyone at your new school seems to know Karate and/or Kung Fu.

Pick Up a New Hobby

Personally, I took up dog sledding, and I have to say that I became quite good at it. But if that's not really your speed, you could try anything from stamp collecting to whittling. I once whittled a life-size replica of Fatz Geronimo out of a log that fell in our yard. I wanted to get the rest of The Rock-afire Explosion but just didn't have enough wood. The important thing is to find something fun that helps keep your mind off the fact your career is currently going nowhere.

Learn Something New

Many unemployed people are using their newfound time to go back to school, which is a great idea to expand your knowledge and add more ammo to your arsenal in the fight for jobs. For some though, that isn't really an option, but you can still learn new skills that might come in useful down the road like taxidermy, quilting, or clogging.


If you don't have to be up tomorrow for an interview then go let off a little steam! By making your liver and your kidneys work overtime, you will get rid of some of that unhealthy stress. I wouldn't recommend making this one a regular thing as the money you have saved up or the unemployment checks you're getting won't last forever.

And finally....

Get a Job!

What the hell are you waiting for?

In all seriousness, being unemployed is tough and constantly stressful, and if you came across this post looking for actual help all I can say is that I hope I made you laugh a little and took your mind off being unemployed for a few minutes. If I could give you one actual piece of advice, I would say that if you've ever had a dream of being an actor, fireman, writer, doctor, cowboy, director, marine biologist, soldier, mime, or any other of the millions of professions out there, and you didn't because you wanted to play it safe or didn't think you could do it, go do it now. What have you got to lose?

Is the economy getting better?

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