6 Reasons Men Should Pee Sitting Down

Posted on by Brian Neese (BrianN)
URL for sharing: http://thisorth.at/5n8l

Ever since man could stand, he's opted to pee while doing so. Maybe not constantly, but certainly when the occasion calls for it. However, in recent years, arguments have surfaced as to whether the inclusion of urinals in public toilets are "intrinsically sexist" because they can only be used by males. Feminist craziness aside, there are plenty of benefits to peeing while comfortably seated, and if you're one of the cave dwellers who still insists on taking your leaks in the upright position, here are six solid reasons that might change your mind.

Reason #6: Privacy

Let's face it: the urinal is just weird. The oddness doesn't come from any lack of confidence in one's body - as some "macho" men might argue - but rather the awkwardness of holding your penis while another man does the exact same thing just one or two feet away. Urinating should be a private and pleasant experience, not one that's subjected to other individuals.

Whether you're just bladder shy or happen to be homophobic enough to think everyone's sneaking a peek, using a public urinal doesn't offer the type of privacy you'd expect when genitalia is involved.

Reason #5: Comfort

Sitting down is way more relaxing than standing up. That's indisputable. If standing trumped sitting, we'd all stand behind our couch watching TV and wondering why we bought a couch in the first place. By opting to take the path less traveled and sit while peeing, you can find that same increased level of comfort on your toilet.

Even for just 30 seconds, you can enter the bathroom and enjoy a relaxing pee. Not only is it much more comfortable than standing, it gives you time to take a personal inventory and reflect on the little things in life without fear of losing your aim. Have a seat, relax, enjoy!

Reason #4: Your Hands Are Free!

Books, magazines and smartphones don't have to be trotted out just for twosies. Even if it's a short trip for number one, you could do a lot worse than to sit down, cozy up, and do some reading from one of your back issues of The Economist. Or, if you're not feeling particularly sophisticated, fling some birds at a bunch of pigs.

Either way, sitting down while you pee means your hands are free and the sky's the limit!

Reason #3: A Built-In Safeguard If You're Uncertain

We all make mistakes, and unless you're one-hundred percent certain your trip to the john is a liquid-only endeavor, sometimes it's best to just play it safe. By sitting down, you're protecting yourself from any unexpected surprises that might arise when you open the floodgates. Everyone knows it's better to have insurance and not need it than to need it and not have it.

Play it safe, guys.

Reason #2: Cleanliness

Even the best aimers still err on occasion. William Tell wasn't immune from a little bit of splatter during a midnight bathroom run, so why would you be?

Whether it's splatter, misjudgment, or some other mistake, it will happen, and your bathroom's cleanliness will suffer as a result. Pee-soaked toilet seats and urine-drenched floorboards rank right alongside infidelity among the leading causes of divorce. Plus, even if you're a bachelor, pissing on your floor isn't exactly sending a stellar message to potential mates.

Reason #1: The Order of the Universe

The order of the universe is at stake here. The disgusting aftermath of men peeing while standing up can be seen in countless public bathrooms that have become so gross most men wouldn't dare sit. By embracing this change, we can shift the balance and make the world a cleaner (more comfortable) place. From public bathrooms to the home, everyone wins. Women will be happier, men will be happier, and all across the world people will hold hands and sing "Dabu Doray."

Confucius once said: "Common men marvel at rare things, wise men at common ones." Why shouldn't we, as men, marvel at how peeing while sitting down can be amazing?

Should We All Have a Seat?

51095 views & 54 votes

Debate It! 17

dude, men have to stand or their bladders don't get fully emptied. crazy swedish feminists are welcome to join us by use of the shewee (www.shewee.com).

Posted By Nate,


Posted By matt,

I call viral potential on this.

Posted By Brash Equilibrium,


To be fair it's just preference innit. If i could i would pee stood up. I reckon i could but i'm scared to try incase i just piss all down my leg.

Posted By Olivia_1994,

what a effing retarded question. its easier to fit more urinals in a bathroom then stalls anyways which makes it faster to get more ppl to drain their vain thats why we have shorter wait lines then women lol thats why their jealous about it lol

Posted By BizzyB,

Nothing beats a communal pee in a trough that only stadiums and other large venues can offer... besides, girls hover anyway... no one dares to sit on a bare [ public ] toilet seat anywhere... no matter if you are male or female. Nice article though!

Posted By AnubisibunA,

i would piss standing up if i could

Posted By lauriek,

Why sitting down is......nice??

Posted By Shandabomb ,

The one fatal flaw in your argument is that you can't piss off the edge of a cliff that way. And that's fucking manly.

Posted By jogden,

why sit down when you could stand up? the toilet bowl is one of the dirtiest place on earth. and not every men's room isnt exactly a fancy place to be!

Posted By dylancayleb,

The Oatmeal has listed out the pros of cons of a man sitting down to pee -- highly relevant!

Posted By Rebecca,

Let me get this straight.. Men never have to do a #2 in public bathrooms, ever? Cause if that's the case, sure, standing is OK. However, as a dude who A: pees sitting down and B: sometimes need to do a #2 when not at home.. sitting down in some ones pee-droplets is not my idea of a fun time. The next time you feel like arguing your case for peeing standing up, go into a really cold bathroom, take all your clothes off and pee standing up. If you don't feel the slightest hot droplet of pee on your legs or see anything on the seat or floor, fine, your urine stream is evidently of superhuman quality. If not, sit the **** down. It's not going to jeopardize your manliness, you've already secured your manliness by being unbelievably insecure in it.

I find it weird that cleanliness is the final frontier in making men civilized. It's not like women just leave used tampons on the floor.

Posted By cassus,

First of all,if you're on public toilets,it's much more hygiene to pie while standing,as you don't sit where 500 more asses had.Secondly,it's easier too.You don't have to take your pants all the way down,all you have to do is to just open your zipper,get your thing out,pee,close the zipper and you're done.PEE WHILE STANDING ALL THE WAY FTW!!!!

Posted By JimTheGreat,

The reasons are pretty weak. Btw, unless u pee for like 10 minutez straight, theres no reason to use a fone or magazine. Thats just dirty too. The last reason wasnt even a reason. Like the netire universe will be better if you gus piss sitting.
And this is coming from a girl.

Posted By Mihji,

Bad idea, i feel comfortable and happy standing up

Posted By rockypopz,

Well men should learn to pissing aim straight then, or this topic wouldn't be here ;) It is us women that have to clean up after you dirty species :P No matter how much you try to aim down the loo, it still splashes outside of the toilet bowl and on to the floor! YUK! I hate it 0_0

Posted By Emmie73,

I'll always use the urinal, when one's available. But in the last couple years leading up to turning 50, I finally got tired of bending down and wiping up the li'l drips that end up on the floor no matter how far I lean over the bowl at home.
I never knew it was considered "weird" until they made a joke about it on "Robot Chicken" this past season.
Then, after seeing "Iron Man 3" and realizing I hadn't seen all of Shane Black's other movies, I hear Geena Davis in "The Long Kiss Goodnight" (1996) commenting on how her possibly-former fiancé pees sitting down, I went Googling for enlightenment, and thus discovered this site.
Thank you! I don't feel quite so alone, now.

Posted By cljohnston108,

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