6 Reasons Men Should Pee Sitting DownPosted on by Brian Neese (BrianN)
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Ever since man could stand, he's opted to pee while doing so. Maybe not constantly, but certainly when the occasion calls for it. However, in recent years, arguments have surfaced as to whether the inclusion of urinals in public toilets are "intrinsically sexist" because they can only be used by males. Feminist craziness aside, there are plenty of benefits to peeing while comfortably seated, and if you're one of the cave dwellers who still insists on taking your leaks in the upright position, here are six solid reasons that might change your mind.
Reason #6: Privacy
Let's face it: the urinal is just weird. The oddness doesn't come from any lack of confidence in one's body - as some "macho" men might argue - but rather the awkwardness of holding your penis while another man does the exact same thing just one or two feet away. Urinating should be a private and pleasant experience, not one that's subjected to other individuals.
Whether you're just bladder shy or happen to be homophobic enough to think everyone's sneaking a peek, using a public urinal doesn't offer the type of privacy you'd expect when genitalia is involved.
Reason #5: Comfort
Sitting down is way more relaxing than standing up. That's indisputable. If standing trumped sitting, we'd all stand behind our couch watching TV and wondering why we bought a couch in the first place. By opting to take the path less traveled and sit while peeing, you can find that same increased level of comfort on your toilet.
Even for just 30 seconds, you can enter the bathroom and enjoy a relaxing pee. Not only is it much more comfortable than standing, it gives you time to take a personal inventory and reflect on the little things in life without fear of losing your aim. Have a seat, relax, enjoy!
Reason #4: Your Hands Are Free!
Books, magazines and smartphones don't have to be trotted out just for twosies. Even if it's a short trip for number one, you could do a lot worse than to sit down, cozy up, and do some reading from one of your back issues of The Economist. Or, if you're not feeling particularly sophisticated, fling some birds at a bunch of pigs.
Either way, sitting down while you pee means your hands are free and the sky's the limit!
Reason #3: A Built-In Safeguard If You're Uncertain
We all make mistakes, and unless you're one-hundred percent certain your trip to the john is a liquid-only endeavor, sometimes it's best to just play it safe. By sitting down, you're protecting yourself from any unexpected surprises that might arise when you open the floodgates. Everyone knows it's better to have insurance and not need it than to need it and not have it.
Play it safe, guys.
Reason #2: Cleanliness
Even the best aimers still err on occasion. William Tell wasn't immune from a little bit of splatter during a midnight bathroom run, so why would you be?
Whether it's splatter, misjudgment, or some other mistake, it will happen, and your bathroom's cleanliness will suffer as a result. Pee-soaked toilet seats and urine-drenched floorboards rank right alongside infidelity among the leading causes of divorce. Plus, even if you're a bachelor, pissing on your floor isn't exactly sending a stellar message to potential mates.
Reason #1: The Order of the Universe
The order of the universe is at stake here. The disgusting aftermath of men peeing while standing up can be seen in countless public bathrooms that have become so gross most men wouldn't dare sit. By embracing this change, we can shift the balance and make the world a cleaner (more comfortable) place. From public bathrooms to the home, everyone wins. Women will be happier, men will be happier, and all across the world people will hold hands and sing "Dabu Doray."
Confucius once said: "Common men marvel at rare things, wise men at common ones." Why shouldn't we, as men, marvel at how peeing while sitting down can be amazing?