10 Other Tragedies That Are a "Personal 9/11" for Schwarzenegger's Kids

Posted on by Rebecca Kelley (Rebecca)
URL for sharing: http://thisorth.at/5qe6
Most of you are likely aware that former governor of California and former/possibly future action movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger realized he forgot to use his Republican sex scandal punch card while in office, so he recently announced that not only are he and his wife of 25 years Skeletor Maria Shriver separating, he also fathered a love child ten years ago with his Charro-meets-Jocelyn-Wildenstein housekeeper.

It's undoubtedly an emotionally tough time for Ahnuld, Shriver, and their kids, but ABC News decided to go full retard and squeeze this headline out of their brown eye: "Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver's Children Face 'Personal 9/11', Say Experts." The article includes a quote from Dr. Alan E. Kazdin, Director of the Most Insensitive and Ignorant Comment Center for Stupid Assholes, where he says that for Schwarzenegger and Shriver's kids, the separation and bastard child scandal "...is like a personal 9/11. What happens after that can really contribute to how their emotional and behavioral adjustment turns out."

Since Kazdin equates something as sucky yet fairly commonplace as divorce right up there with one of the United States' biggest tragedies in our country's young history, I thought I'd compile a list of other egregious events that were also a "personal 9/11" for these kids:

1. Realizing the DVR Cut Off the Last 30 Seconds of the New South Park Episode They Recorded

They had to find the next airing of the episode and modify the recording so it caught the last joke. What a pain in the ass.

2. Getting Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 for Christmas When the Boys Really Wanted Black Ops

I mean, come on, they're two totally different games. Sheesh.

3. Every Time HBO Re-Airs "Jingle All the Way"

Each airing is its own separate 9/11. And Sinbad still hasn't been brought to justice.

4. Accidentally Posting Someone's Name in the Status Bar Instead of the Search Bar on Facebook

"WTF, now they know I was trying to spy on their profile page!!"

5. Finishing the Prep on a Box of Kraft Mac and Cheese and Then Realizing They're Out of Milk

(photo via kalleboo)

What are you supposed to use as a substitute, water? Nobody should have to endure that type of suffering.

6. Returning Someone's Wave, Only to Realize They Were Waving at the Person Behind Them

"It's cool, I was just reaching up to scratch my head. It always looks like I'm waving when I do that."

7. Every Time They Have to Listen to Their Dad Pronounce "Kahlifoania"

(photo via thebrooklynnomad.com)

"Seriously dad, you've lived here for over 40 years."

8. Being Forced to Sit Through "The Kennedys" Miniseries

"ReelzChannel" sounds fake. Tom Wilkinson, you should know better than to star in this. And Katie Holmes, you sir are no Jackie O.

9. Having Their Chair Make a Farting Noise and Unsuccessfully Trying to Recreate the Sound So People Won't Judge

"I swear, it was the chair! Here, I'll scooch around and prove it...IT WAS THE CHAIR!!"


You know, the one all four of their kids (and Arnold's bastard child) were alive to remember? No? Ah, forget it.

Is this divorce the Schwarzenegger kids' "personal 9/11"?

2961 views & 23 votes

Debate It! 1

I have never laughed so hard in my life... thank you for this post, I don't know, there have been a few kids lately who have gone through domestic violence some as bad as having one parent kill the other or both parents gone.. but their last name isn't Schwarzenegger.

Posted By Dall,

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